Am I The Only One?

Am I the only one who feels this way? Like right now I should actually be really happy.  Its not like Im not happy at all, like I mean I couldn't ask for more but when I sit here at night in my room it gets me thinking. About EVERYTHING in my life. Family, friends, boys, school, my future, my whole life. Like high school is supposed to be "the greatest 4 years of your life." Right now Im a junior and really my freshman & sophomore years in high school were amazing. I had all the friends I could ask for (when everyone wasn't a bitch) and I was actually really really content, even though I didn't have a boy, but I was totally fine with that as long as I had my family & friends. Now speaking as a junior, Ive lost some of my closest friends and only gained a couple new ones.  I basically have that one best friend that is there for me no matter what and I love her for that, but I actually wish that everyone will just fucking get along and be friends. Because thats really about who I am. Ever since elementary school, all the parents would think of me as the "peacemaker" between friends.  When my friends would get into stupid little girl fights, I was always the one to say forget about it and move on, your fighting over something stupid that doesn't even matter.  Well, I've been like that forever and now look where it has put me. I have only one best friend and boys basically just suck (hence no boyfriend). I mean I've been in relationships with guys before, its just that I want to find that perfect guy. Ya know, the kind who's never been taken before and had a past with some psycho ex-girlfriend, the kind who are actually nice to you, talk to you, respect you as guys should to a girl. Like uh...someone? said before, the only great guys are either taken or gay. so FML. :( But really? Am I the only one who feels this way, about boys, friends, and just everything that just is going so fast in life? Ugh.


<3 Michelle